The second time I celebrated Hanukkah with my non-Jewish in-laws was about two weeks before Christmas.  We just happened to all get together for dinner one night during the week of Hanukkah at my in-laws’ house.  A small gift was waiting for me, which was extremely thoughtful since we hadn’t planned on exchanging Hanukkah presents that year.  Inside the box was a dreidel, very colorful and beautiful.   It wasn’t until I pulled the dreidel out of the box that I realized it was actually a Christmas ornament! My in-laws had given me a Christmas ornament for Hanukkah.

I know it made complete sense to them.  Here’s a gift for one holiday that you can use for another, but I couldn’t help but feel like they’d totally missed the point.  Why were they giving me a gift on a Jewish holiday to use for a non-Jewish one?  Couldn’t the gift be non-denominational?  I would have been happy with a scented candle. 

Having Christmas this year fall right in the middle of Hanukkah has got the family talking about celebrating both holidays.  We spend Christmas Eve at their house and they’re looking forward to taking out their own Channukia to light the night my husband and I are there.  Through their willingness to bring my Jewish holiday into their non-Jewish traditions I’ve realized that, in an interfaith family, holidays aren’t just about religion.  Having my non-Jewish family enjoy and experience my Jewish holidays is really what’s important.

My mother-in-law loves Hanukkah because she finds peace watching the lights of the menorah burn.  She likes to just sit quietly around the table after the candles have been lit and absorb the light.  Her joy in the candles burning makes me feel accepted, as a Jewish woman, in their non-Jewish family, and it’s what I’m looking forward to the most this Christmas.